In theory, I knew the transition to mommyhood would be work. In practice, well … nothing quite prepares you, does it? Well-wishers frequently ask, “Is there anything I can get for you?” Without a moment’s pause I am sure of my answer. S-L-E-E-P. Seriously. Just go ahead and leave it on my doorstep. No need for decorative ribbons or wrapping of any kind. Just sleep – plain and simple. Thanks.
Prior to the birth of our darling baby boy, one of Mike’s colleagues asked if we had yet hired a night nanny. A night nanny? Um, no. Quite honestly, the thought hadn’t entered our minds. I mean, I wanted to be a hands-on mom, right? I’d feel way too guilty avoiding one of motherhood’s rites of passage. Besides, a nanny willing to work through the night most certainly does not come cheap. Mike and I had a good chuckle at the suggestion. Then, we forgot about it.
Fast forward to now …. I feel unbelievably humbled by my recent change of employment. A little more than a month ago my schedule was predictable and my thoughts far more coherent. I felt confident in my abilities and a sense of contribution acknowledged by my colleagues, student’s parents and a monthly paycheck. And now? My world is topsy-turvy. A nine-to-five (or eight to four-ish) workday schedule has given way to ‘round the clock, on-call status. Activities that were once routine are now scarce commodities. Panic has begun to set in. The idea of a night nanny sounds brilliant (albeit unaffordable).
To all moms reading this self-pity, I beg for advice or reassurance. The other day an acquaintance casually acknowledged my fatigue stating, “Oh, this is only the beginning, hon’. Welcome to the next 18 years.” Really? Really?!? I nearly broke down bawling right then and there. No doubt the demands of motherhood evolve with time, but the lack of sleep? This, for me, is the most challenging demand thus far. I can do diapers. Breastfeeding is … well, coming along. But … *yawn*… I’m not sure how much more of this … *YAWN* … I can … zzzzz …. ZZZZZZ ….
You can do it Candida!!! Believe me it gets WAY easier in a weird way. Your life changes so that everything revolves around serving that special little person, but it gets so much more rewarding as they grow and you begin to forget about the sacrifices your making. (and if you happen to remember... that's what husbands are for... HELLO massages woop woop)
ReplyDeleteCandace, it gets way better. They will be sleeping through the night in no time. Don't put too much pressure on yourself either. If you get one thing on your "list" done each day during this early time of life, you succeeded!! Don't feel guilty about sleeping when he is during the day either. I would often fall asleep with my girls sleeping on my chest. I loved this close bonding time as well.
ReplyDeleteI'll see you in a couple weeks!
hey girl. the sleep thing at the beginning was a NIGHTMARE> literally. It feels like it will NEVER end...BUT it does. the first 2-3 months are a whirlwind. but after that they sleep longer at night. it gets better for sure. and when i went back to work, i was the most miserable person you could ever know. i was commuting 2 hours each way with the baby in the back seat crying, trying to feed her bottles, sing to her, give her binkies, all while driving. it was awful. i broke down and realized i couldn't do it all. and that is when we made HUGE family changes and i quit my job. and live a much simpler, humbler, and happier life now.
ReplyDeleteyes your body will just adjust to the no sleep that your getting and somehow you do not get as tired even though you are if that makes sense and then once your little one sleeps through the night and you have a great schedule and your feeling energized again you go and get pregnant and do it all over again!! HA
ReplyDeletejust remember -- NOTHING lasts forever. you can get through this. the beginning no sleep thing is -- like emily said -- a nightmare. in fact i am dreading that above all else when alex is born in august. BUT. they are just so precious when they are so tiny and helpless, and before you know it the days will blur into weeks and months and before you know it you can make him sleep through the night. then EVERYTHING gets better.
ReplyDeleteand for the record a night nanny does sound FABULOUS. hahahaha. (do people really do that??)
"Come on, Candace! You can do it! Just put a little power to it! Rah, rah, RAH!" Ok...that was my version of being your #1 cheerleader. Ha! You're a great mommy and the sleep thing will eventually come. But, you'll also just adjust to being on a different schedule and putting someone else's needs before your own. It's very true that children teach you and perfect you in many areas of life...you'll learn a great deal of patience and sacrifice along the years. You'll also always cherish the memories you have of them as little ones so try really hard to enjoy each one. Before you know it, you'll be having to get the spray bottle out to get them up in the morning! Remember Mom? ;-) Love you!
ReplyDeleteWow, that was fun reading all the above advice. The funny thing is, is that I remember when the above advisers were babies themselves!:) Good answers ladies. On behalf of your mothers and myself, I would like to add, that it was all worth it!:)
ReplyDeleteCandace (and Mike, I'm sure), sleep everytime your baby sleeps. The housework, cooking, and laundry can all be done while baby is awake and watching you from his bed. Put your chin up! It does get better...sleep wise. Do not let yourself get down - it will drag your body down, too. Look up. Be happy. Go for a walk with Justin. You can do hard things!
ReplyDeletehahaha. i just came back to check on new comments, and i loved reading them all ESPECIALLY your mom's! hehehe
ReplyDeleteThanks for all of the much-needed advice and encouragement, all! Life is definitely getting easier. Little Justin is beginning to sleep longer (5 hours last night) and is now smiling regularly in response to our smiles. Funny how a little smile can turn a frown up-side-down! :) Will post more soon ...
ReplyDeleteI agree w/ all the comments on here. It is exhausting at first, but now, Claire goes to bed at 7, sleeps through the night and wakes up around 6:30/7PM. This started when she was about 6 1/2 months, so just hang in there! And, before that it wasn't too bad. It does get better!
ReplyDeleteSleep? Ahhh, who needs it?! Overrated... *grin
ReplyDelete